Self-care may be neglected around the holidays, but in actuality, this is the time when we most need it. I’ll help you get ready for time with others, take care of yourself while you’re with them, and offer advice on how to wind down afterward. I’m a certified therapist and a seasoned holiday celebrator myself.
I encourage you to consider working with a therapist at this period, but I’ll also offer advice on how to take care of yourself outside of therapy. I realize that scheduling sessions during parties may be difficult, but therapy may be a crucial component of getting ready for the holidays and readjusting to life afterward.
Understanding Your Holiday Experience
For each of us, holidays can mean different things. It can be a happy time to see your loved ones, or maybe you’re terrified of meeting relatives you don’t get along with or have tense connections with. You may be excited to see your sister, who reminds you of happy times spent decorating the tree or lighting the menorah as a child, but you may also wish you could be doing something else besides sitting in the same room as your father, who consistently pushes your boundaries.
The Three Phases of Holiday Self-Care
The secret to surviving the holidays without giving in to burnout and social weariness is to follow these guidelines. I like to divide self-care during the holidays into three categories.
The Pre-Work
The self-care stage known as “pre-work” is when you save your energy and get ready, both mentally and physically, for social interaction.
Clear Your Schedule
With the exception of spending genuinely nourishing time with a close friend, I encourage you to clear your schedule of any important social engagements or events that don’t absolutely need to happen a few days before you visit family and friends for the holidays (and especially the morning of). Better yet, avoid planning any taxing and superfluous social gatherings in the run-up to the holidays so that you don’t even have to postpone anything.
You can think about setting up a therapy session so that you can talk to a therapist about your feelings now that you have a more organized social calendar. For some of us, holidays and important occasions can be happy times, but they can also be accompanied by despair, loneliness, anger, and grief. Whatever you’re feeling, a therapist can help you navigate it.
I encourage you to let all of your feelings run their course without passing judgment since they are all legitimate. Find out more about my method and arrange a free consultation here if you’re interested in beginning treatment with me.
Grounding Rituals
Take a time to ground yourself and do something for yourself on the morning of any holiday or important event (or the night before if you’re departing early). This might be anything from working out to going for a 10-minute meditation to going for a walk outside.
To safeguard your energy, you might also wish to look into a visualization technique called “grounding roots”:
Locate a cozy seat on a cushioned surface, or even better, the ground outside, and either gently open or close your eyes.
Observe where your body touches the ground or the surface, and pay attention to your breathing, perhaps extending your inhalations and exhalations.
Imagine roots emerging from the point where your body joins the ground underneath you when you’re ready.
Think about the roots giving you security and a sense of grounding as they go wider and deeper.
Observe how your roots affect your physical and emotional well-being.
These roots are always present, and you can take a moment to focus on them if you need them later on while you’re around other people.
Find something grounding in the room or outside to help you focus for a moment as you prepare to continue with your day, and when you’re ready, slowly open your eyes if they were closed.
Nutritional Preparation
Eat a blood sugar-balancing meal before you go if you have dietary allergies, sensitivities, or plan to eat unfamiliar foods. Meals that balance blood sugar contain fat, carbohydrates, and proteins. When you enter social situations, this will help your body feel nourished and energized.
While You’re With Others
In order to take care of oneself while physically attending holiday festivities, this phase focuses on how to create boundaries in a way that others might not even notice.
Carve Out Alone Time
It’s crucial to set aside time for oneself to unwind while you’re with other people. “But how do I get time to myself when I’m with ten other family members,” you might be asking yourself. But pay attention—we’re only going to be here for brief bursts of two to ten minutes!
Even if you don’t need to use the restroom, don’t undervalue the importance of taking breaks. If family dynamics become difficult and you need a break or a quick getaway, the toilet is a good place to spend some alone time to relax.
You can perform the following grounding exercises in the restroom:
As you breathe, place a hand on your chest and another on your belly. As you inhale, feel your chest and abdomen move toward your hands, and as you exhale, feel them move away from them.
Take note of your shoes or your feet on the ground. To feel how different areas of your feet meet the ground underneath you, try moving forward toward your toes and backward toward your heels.
“Shake it off.” Imagine any interactions or energy that isn’t helping you streaming out via the points of your arms and legs as you shake them off.
Evening and Morning Routines
During holiday get-togethers, the bathroom is a wonderful place to take care of yourself, but if you’re staying somewhere, you also need to consider how you’ll wind down at the end of the night and begin the next day.
Telling people you’re going to bed sooner than you really want to while still going to your sleeping room is something I encourage you to do. Spend some time taking care of yourself before bed, whether it’s stretching, reading, or meditation. YouTube has videos that demonstrate stretching, while Apple or Spotify offer a plethora of free podcast meditations.
In the morning, wait to announce your awakening to others until you have had some alone time. Do something in the morning before you join people for breakfast, just like you did before going to bed. All you can do is your best, although I know this might be difficult if you have children!
The Post-Work
It’s time to start the post-work when the holiday season is coming to an end and all the social events have concluded. You can start the post-work after the last gathering, or you can integrate it throughout if you have several gatherings in a row with some downtime in between.
Reflect and Process
I advise you to make an appointment with your therapist. To help you reintegrate into your daily life, a therapist like me can assist you in processing any emotions or complex family relationships that may arise around the holidays.
Rest and Recovery
After the holidays are done, be sure to schedule some downtime as well. Any unneeded social events should be postponed for at least two to three days. If you can, think about taking a little staycation! For a speedier recovery, I also advise getting as much sleep as you can and going to bed early.
Energetic Clearing
If this speaks to you, you may also want to look into energetic cleaning work, which involves physically brushing any negative interactions and energy off your body with your hands:
Feel your feet on the floor as you stand up.
Think of any conversations, feelings, or negativity you may have picked up from other people over the holidays and would like to let go of.
Imagine any negative energy flowing down and out of your body and into the soil as you use your hands and fingers to sweep it off from the top of your head down your face and neck.
From your shoulders to your fingers, now rub your arms.
Move your brush down your abdomen from the top of your chest.
Move your brush from the middle of your back to your hips.
To allow the earth to absorb the energy for you, keep moving forward and always brush it downward toward the earth.
Make sure to brush the front and back of your legs as well as the soles of your feet as you move around your hips and legs all the way down to your feet.
Now, go over your body to see if there are any places where you still feel tense or uncomfortable. Then, concentrate for a moment on those regions only, visualizing that you are sweeping the energy from your body and directing it to the ground.